Interview, Victor Chapman, 44

Edited by Kyle Cashulin

I was living in an SRO, which means a single room occupancy hotel, which the city of New York pays for. They have an organization that’s called HASA. That’s the HIV and AIDS Service Association. And people with HIV and AIDS who need emergency housing, like for some reason you find yourself out on the street, they house you automatically that day. They’ll find a place for you to go. They don’t want you to go to the regular homeless shelters because, you know, you have exceptional circumstances. Or whatever.

So I was living at this place at 101st and Broadway called Broadway Studios Hotel. And I was smoking crack, because most of thethose buildings are basically just crack houses now. And I was hanging out with this guy named Amado Penia who lived down the hall from me. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and he had two Jack Russell Terriers, a male and a female, and they had just had pups. Now this is in the afternoon, I was in my room, my ex-boyfriend at the time, and another female friend, and Amado came by. He said “What’s goin’ on? What are you guys doing?” And I said, “Well, we’re hanging out.” And he wanted to get high, and I said “Listen, I don’t have enough drugs to give you.” Then I remembered that he had puppies, and those Jack Russell terriers, those things are expensive. I could never afford one of those. So I thought, “Why not take advantage of a crackhead?”

So I said “I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you a hit of crack for one of those new Jack Russell Terriers that you have!” So he said he’d be back, and he goes down the hall to get the dog. And he comes back twenty or thirty minutes later. And then I told him that in the meantime I had smoked the drugs and I didn’t have anything to give him. So I said “I’m sorry, but the deal’s off, I don’t have anything to give you.”

And he got pissed. Later on he was on the elevator and had the mamma dog, the bitch, on a leash. And he was furious. He was big, like 6’5” and must have weighed 350 pounds. And he was yelling at me, screaming at me, cursing me out. And I was getting off the elevator at my floor, and he had the dog on a leash, and he was so busy yelling at me that he didn’t realize that the dog was behind him and the doors of the elevator closed on the dog! And the dog was like “YELP YELP YELP!” These high-pitched screams! And he just “WHAP!” bitch slaps me up against the wall. And I’m like “What the fuck?” I was shocked. And scared.

So I go back to my room. And I’m in shock. I was really angry. And I’m sitting there and for the next hour I’m furious. Fuming. I couldn’t believe this guy slapped me. So I go, with an omelet pan and a serrated steak knife and a can of mace. And I went over, and I bang on his door, and ask him to come out. And he was like “What do you want? Fuck off!” And I say “Open the door! Come out! You owe me an apology!”

So he comes out, and he starts beating the shit out of me! Just kicking me, and pounding me into the ground, you know. Not even caring, just really livid. So then he goes back in his room. And I make this mistake of banging on his door, and I bang off the door handle. And he comes out and comes at me with this table leg. A wooden table leg. Like two feet long. And I had my can of mace, and I try to mace him. And….and it’s empty! So he beats me down with a table leg. He has me down on the ground, and he’s choking me out. I stop breathing, twice, and I can’t breathe, and I lose consciousness, and then he lets up, and then he chokes me and I lose consciousness again.

And the second time I woke up I look over and realize I had this steak knife in my hand, and I reach up and WHAM, WHAM, and I caught him twice in the shoulder. And he takes the steak knife from me and he’s holding me down with one hand this time, and I’m screaming “NO NO PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” But the knife was broken, it had broken when I was stabbing him with it. Hahahaha. I guess it was a flimsy knife. It wasn’t like a Bowie knife or anything. It’s not that violent of a tale. Hahaha.

So I got charged with attempted murder. In the first. $75,000 bail. Then they reduced it to assault. First degree assault. $50,000 bail.

And I got sent to Rikers Island prison. I was being sexually assaulted left and right. Knowing that I was HIV positive, this one guy, a notorious rapist, kept cornering me. He got me in the law library bathroom and sodomized me. He was hung like a mule. I said “Fuck it, okay you bastard! If you make me bleed, if you catch AIDS, it’s your fault! You deserve it, you fucking rapist!” That happened a couple times.

My first night in jail was a nightmare in itself. They didn’t know what to do with me because I had a psych history. So they were taking me around, they took me to Queen’s House, which wouldn’t take me ‘cause I was on psych meds. Then they took me to Brooklyn House, which wouldn’t take me because I was on psych meds and had a seizure disorder. Then they tried to take me to that boat in the Bronx, that floats, and they wouldn’t take me for some reason. Then they take me to Rikers Island. There’s this policy, they have like 24 to 72 hours to have you in a bed somewhere. Or else you can sue them. So they exceeded that time. I was scared. I was petrified, it was horrible! Rikers Island is the world’s largest penal colony! They have tanks there, and helicopters, and riot gear, and tear gas, and they have their own boats, and ferries, it’s horrible!

It’s called “Gladiator School.” And they don’t call it that for nothing. You go in, and you’re in this dorm room called Broadway. And anything can happen. Guys get their bed linens set on fire with them in it, or urine and feces thrown on you. Or a blanket party, where you’re tied down with your blankets and everyone beats you up. You go to the store once per week and people steal everything from you. They’re selling drugs. The trans-gendered ones are selling themselves, prostitution is alive and well. Selling blowjobs and ass, and whatever you can afford. Everything’s for sale.

I got mixed up with leaders of the Blood gangs. I was having sexual relationships with Bloods, Muslims, Latin Kings, Nation of Islam, 5% Nation, Jamaicans, Caribbean African Unities, all these guys. I was running, I was hiding in this prison. All these guys were coming at me all the time wanting to have sex, sex sex. Unprotected sex. Sex. Sex. That’s why they should hand out condoms in prisons, because it’s happening! I mean it’s STUPID! It’s HAPPENING. And guys are either giving it up willingly or some guys are gonna take it from you. And it’s not like they prey on someone who’s meek or a little guy. Anybody’s game. But what did they expect? I’m a homosexual male in prison with a thousand other guys, so what? I’m as happy as a faggot in Boy’s Town.

I was in Solitary for fighting. It’s not preferable in any way. It’s sensory deprivation. You don’t know what time it is, you don’t know what day it is. You don’t know if it’s about to be sunrise or sunset or what. You know. It’s horrible. It’s horrible.

The worst thing that I witnessed in prison was when they beat this guy up. Lit him on fire and threw feces and urine all over him. And when he was screaming and screaming, the guards did nothing. Nobody does anything. He offended the Bloods. It’s always the Bloods.